Taken from my January 24, 2009 blog
Being a man confined into a woman's body, most of the time I am being put down and laughed at whenever I divulge how I feel for a certain person. The only damsel who never made fun of me were Elunesa, Maredith, Joni and Norma, the first two were my live-in partners who flirted with me in their own peculiar way. I can say that when I fall in love, I make sure that the maiden involved with me is cuddled, showered with gifts and attention and is being adored.
Leah who came to Canada under the live-in caregiving program whose job was supposed to look after her Lola Francisca and not as a babysitter of Dylan was the last woman who has a sexual relationship with me, the first since my divorce. This 27-year-old woman knew how much I cared for her that's why whatever she asked, I gave it at once. Despite the affection I offered her, she remained ruthless and inconsiderate.
"Kahit si Sallie pa ang kahuli-hulihang tao na matira sa mundo, hinding-hindi ko siya papatulan. Magpapakatandang dalaga na lang ako kesa mahumaling sa katulad niya. Hindi ako ganoon ka-desperate ano!" were the words she said when she's chatting with one of my friends. Then came the moment that she couldn't resist my charm anymore. Siya na ang tumatawag sa akin pag nasa trabaho siya and visited my place in several occasions so we could make love.
"Hindi ba puwedeng tumigil si Ali sa pag-iingay? Ganyan ba talaga kadaldal ang anak mo? Ang sakit sa ulo eh!" She asked me to call her but my son couldn't talk or play rough as Leah and I conversed through our respective headset. Imagine, nasa sarili ko ng bahay ang anak ko, napasulsol pa akong huwag siyang mag-ingay.
"Bakit naman ganito kagulo sa bahay mo? Hindi ka ba marunong maglinis? Ano'ng ginagawa mo sa maghapon?" was always her dialogue. She failed to realize that when you have kid, you tend to have mess whenever you clean on a regular basis.
"Huwag mo akong yakapin o hawakan in public. Whatever we have, doon lang sa kuwarto mo mangyayari, hindi dito sa labas!" mataray niyang warning pag nagde-date kami. "Ayokong malalaman ng kahit sino sa pamilya mo na may relasyon tayo. Kailangan mangako ka sa akin, Sallie!" laging sinasabi niya sa akin. But out of her knowledge, I told my parents and siblings about us noong unang araw pa lang namin. Ganoon ako ka-open sa kanila and they accepted Leah for who she is, kahit yung selfishness niya, pagka-suplada at pagiging demanding.
"How many times will I tell you that when your mom and I are in the room, you have to wait and don't ever knock? You should behave and listen to me! Don't do it again or else!" were her harsh words to my seven-year-old son. Pag nabibitin siya, mas lalo niyang pinapagalitan at sinasaktan ang anak ko, things I should have not tolerated because he got night terror and bad dreams after that.
On November 24, 2006, I finally told my boy, "your nightmare is over, son. I love you!"
Feb. 6, 2010
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